Hello, my little one.
I have been thinking about writing letters to you for some time now, because I have loved reading the things my mom (Nana Fern) wrote about me when I was a baby. You've been making me so very nauseated the last couple of weeks; going to work has been extremely difficult. Fortunately you don't make me throw up, but still.. being nauseated is awful. This was not the first feeling I've had since knowing you exist. Let me tell you about the night I found out about you.
Dad and I have been wanting a child for 3 years. We had been married for 3 and a half years when we decided it was time to start a family. Imagine our surprise and sadness when it did not happen right away... or within a year... or within a couple of years. The emotions of infertility are not an easy thing to deal with. When I started my job at BCBS (Blue Cross and Blue Shield) we decided that we would try seeing an infertility specialist. We tried several rounds of Chlomid (which often helps women get pregnant - it's how Aunt Katie got pregnant), but to no avail. We tried a process called IUI (in-utero insemination), and that didn't work either. Dad had to work out of town a lot this summer, so I stopped taking all of the medications I was on. Toward the beginning of August 2013 my body started behaving differently. I was feeling pain where I didn't normally feel it, and the timing of natural cycles was off. There was no way I could be pregnant, because I wasn't on any medications and Dad was out of town so often. One day, after talking to a nurse, I decided I would try taking a pregnancy test. Dad was in Hawaii at the time, and I was babysitting someone else's 5 children overnight at their house. That night I had met with the bishopric and was called to be the Young Women's President in our new ward (Canyon Heights). I took the test, and had to wait 5 minutes to see the result. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and got ready for bed, never looking at the test but closely watching the time. When the time was finally up I looked. And it told me I was going to have you. I started crying tears of joy; I wanted to shout! I jumped up and down and ran around the living room, then called your dad. He was at dinner with some friends and was just shocked. Although we had hoped and prayed for you to join us, we sure didn't expect you to come at that time. We waited a few days for confirmation via a blood test before we told our families. They were all just so excited!
I haven't stopped smiling since, even in my sickness. I love you, my little darling. I don't know that I have loved anyone or anything more than I love you now. You are such a special blessing, a miracle really. I often cry tears of joy, thanking our Heavenly Father for sending you to us. We will love you forever. Can't wait to meet you!! It feels like forever until you will be here... only 32 weeks to go. Your official due date is April 19, 2014. That day can't come quickly enough.
All my love,
Mama
